


Lena's Assimilation

by jollywriter



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, and fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 14:14:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11015070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jollywriter/pseuds/jollywriter
Summary: Lena Luthor is introduced to the "family" as Kara's Girlfriend. Not everyone is excited, or supportive, of this idea. Eliza Danvers flinches at the idea of her daughter being so intimate with a Luthor.The worst part is; Lena doesn't blame her.





	Lena's Assimilation

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to Kara's Recover.

Lena Luthor didn’t know what kind of armor to wear to this particular battle. Does she understate herself? Or dial it up to 14 and annihilate everyone who lays eyes on her?

But will she outshine her girlfriend?

Silly question. Not possible.

Believe it or not, there weren’t classes at any of the extravagant boarding schools that Lionel and Lillian shipped her off to that explained what kind of clothes to wear when you were meeting your girlfriend’s family.

It got even more awkward when you bore in mind; that girlfriend was an alien, she happened to be Supergirl, and the family was her work-friends and fellow DEO agents. And also her earth-adoptive mother.

There was literally no guide to accompany how to conduct herself for this.

With a high-pressure board meeting, she could plan accordingly. There were certain rules that were followed, even if they weren’t written down, and she could dress up to the max.

But this was a bar, on the south side of National City. So that added a geographical variable to her clothes. If she dressed up too nice, she was a target for stick-up men.

Usually she’d be worried about that. But standing next to Supergirl cast a peculiar shadow of invulnerability sometimes.

Useful perks to having a superhero girlfriend; she’s bulletproof.

Lena stared at the clothes she’d laid out on her bed. She stood in her underwear and just stared at the clothes. She had literally no idea how to dress for tonight.

Lena had an idea! She snatched up her phone, and texted Kara a direct question.

_What are you wearing?_

Kara’s response came a moment later.

_Why Ms. Luthor! You’re so forward today!_

Lena rolled her eyes and suppressed a smile but then her phone buzzed again and her head exploded.

Well. Exploded isn’t the right phrase. Short circuited? Certainly. Immediately transported beyond the realm of coherent thought? Definitely.

Kara “I’m A Nice Person” Danvers sent a picture in response to her teasing text.

Kara was wearing nothing but a button-up blouse, in a pale white color that was mostly sheer. Kara was on her bed, her blonde hair haloed around her head, and her hand and shirt strategically placed so that while Lena could see quite a _lot_ of toned, pale skin, it wasn’t too revealing.

Lena put the phone down, bent over, put her hands on her knees, and focused on breathing evenly.

A moment later, she texted back, quite reasonably;

_THAT’S NOT FAIR_

Kara sent back _another_ picture. This time she pouted.

_Kara. Honey. Do you expect me to live through tonight’s encounter? Because you keep this up I will die before I even finish getting dressed._

Kara responded; _oh really? What are YOU wearing?_

Lena saw her opportunity and took it. She laid down, framed her clothes behind her, swept her hair up so it was over her head, covered her nipples with one hand, crossed her legs and hips *just so*, and took the picture.

She cackled, as she sent it to Kara. And then she continued to fret over what to wear.

Kara did not respond. At first, Lena wondered if it was because she didn’t have a response. Or because she was thinking of another way to get even. Or up the ante.

And then ten minutes passed. Did she get called away? Did Supergirl duty supersede getting ready for tonight?

Lena tried to put it out of her mind. She finally selected a simple black blouse that showed off her arms, black slacks, and modest red heels.

Click three times and go home.

At the thought of home, Lena’s first reaction was to think of being anywhere with Kara. And that made her blush.

She glanced at her watch. She was a little late. Not bad, though. She’d be fashionably late when she arrived. Give Kara’s family and friends a chance to get seated and start drinking.

Hopefully.

She grabbed her red peacoat, her blue scarf, and headed out.

Lena drove herself downtown to the bar. She parked round the back and walked inside.

Kara intercepted her at the back door. Lena looked up. Kara was blushing already. And then Lena realized why Kara hadn’t responded.

“Did you break your phone again?”

“Okay,” Kara worked very hard to seem controlled. “You can’t do that to me, okay? I am only human.”

Lena kissed her cheek. “You’re a lot more than that, darling.”

“Yeah but lewds from you aren’t fair and I can’t even with how beautiful you are.” Kara pulled her into her arms and kissed her forehead. “You look really, really good.”

“Thank you,” Lena blushed. When they pulled back, Lena looked Kara up and down. She wore the same white blouse she’d teased Lena in earlier, but now she accompanied it with a pale skirt, too.

Kara’s curves were in full view. As were her muscular arms.

There was nothing about Kara that wasn’t attractive to Lena.

“You ready?” Kara asked. She had her hair up in a simple bun.

Lena took a slow breath. And nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“They’ll like you. They already do.” Kara promised.

“That was because we were quasi-colleagues,” Lena whispered. “No one’s had to cope with the idea of a Super and a Luthor dating before.”

“Well they can be nice or they can leave.” Kara decided, without any hesitation.

“No,” Lena caught Kara’s hand and tugged. They were in the narrow hallway at the back of the bar. “Listen, I appreciate it, but I don’t want you to ostracize any of your family over me.”

Kara considered, and then said in a very level tone, “Lena, if any of them treat you badly, I don’t want to associate with them. You’ve suffered enough. You don’t deserve any more hatred, or being pushed to the outside.”

Lena’s heart broke a little as she struggled to wrap her head around the devotion Kara showed in that statement.

“Okay.” Lena said.

“Are you okay?” Kara’s brows were knitted together and her face was drawn with concern.

Lena smiled, easily. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

Kara’s face transformed. When she wasn’t worrying, she was radiant. Sunshine, personified.

She was ridiculous adorable and Lena couldn’t even right now.

Kara caught her hand, and held it as they walked into the bar. Immediately, Lena spotted Alex, leaned against the edge of a booth, and talking animatedly with Winn over something. Maggie was across the table, looking up at her fiancé with big eyes. Hank was next to her, smiling a little. James was next to Winn, and shook his head slowly.

At the back of the circular booth, however, was Eliza Danvers, and Lena’s heart stopped.

Kara, with her super-hearing, must have noticed.

“It’ll be okay. Okay?” Kara asked.

Lena nodded, her throat dry. She didn’t trust herself to speak. Kara gently guided her through the crowd, and stepped partially in front of Lena as they approached the table. She shielded Lena, to give her a moment to compose herself.

Lena put her shoulders back, put on a brave grin, and lifted her chin.

“Hi,” Kara drew the word out.

“Hey!” Winn burst. “Is he here?”

Lena rolled her eyes.

“ _She_ is,” Kara said, and added, “So I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Lena.”

She stepped aside, and Lena found herself flushed and unable to hold her authoritative posture. Kara owning the introduction as ‘my girlfriend’ immediately derailed her.

It was so real, so incredibly, gloriously, real and Lena didn’t know how to cope.

She gave a little wave. “Hi.”

Maggie’s eyes went wide with surprise, Hank grinned a little and tipped his shot glass towards her. Eliza did not react. James and Winn both looked wide-eyed and slack-jawed at Lena. And Alex pushed past her sister to embrace Lena, “Hey fam.”

Lena breathed a little easier. If Alex was okay with her, to so casually give her a hug after Kara’s introduction, maybe things weren’t all bad.

“I am devastated,” Winn said. “Really. Lena. After all the science we’ve done together. How can you not tell me?”

Lena laughed.

“No, don’t laugh,” Winn’s voice got high and squeaky but he grinned right along. “You betrayed the science bros trust, man.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena composed herself. “Honestly.”

Kara saved her from a further explanation, “Given everything that’s happened with Lillian and our recent, um, _encounters_ , I didn’t want to be open about this because, frankly, I wasn’t going to be patient with disagreement.”

It stunned Lena, to the core of her, to see Kara defensive of Lena. Lena squeezed Kara’s hand. She whispered, “It’s okay.”

“Where are your manners, Kara?” Eliza said. “Let the lady sit down. Don’t keep her on her feet.”

Winn immediately shuffled into James, who looked put out. But they did scoot over, and allow Lena to sit down. Kara and Alex remained standing.

“I’m very happy for you,” Hank said. “You and Kara make a remarkably good couple.” He grinned proudly at her and Kara.

“Hey,” Alex, defensive now but without any malice to it. “What are we?” She gestured to Maggie.

“It’s not a competition, Agent,” Hank said, totally straight. “I can think everyone’s adorable without having to grade it.”

Kara laughed outright at that, and Maggie grinned up at Alex.

“So, Lena, how did you actually meet my daughter?”

“She interviewed me when I moved to National City.”

“Interesting,” Eliza leaned forward. “I read that article. I didn’t realize that was when she’d encountered you.”

Lena didn’t know what to do with that, so she asked, “How come?”

“She wrote about you as if she had quite a lot of familiarity with you.”

“Mom,” Kara drew the word out as if she were a teenager again.

Lena felt like she was on the hot-seat.

“I don’t know what to say,” Lena tied to smile, to be brave. It didn’t work.

Eliza was a calm, powerful woman who was possibly one of the single most intelligent people Lena had ever heard of.

Eliza nodded slowly. Lena glanced around for help. Hank looked unaffected, Maggie looked at Alex and pointedly ignored the moment, and Winn tried to look invisible.

“Winn, James, you mind lending me a hand getting drinks?” Alex said.

Lena looked up at Alex, but Winn said, “Sure!” and nudged Lena.

Lena rose, stood aside, and suddenly the table emptied. Maggie said, “I need to step out to make a call. Check with my precinct.”

Hank made no excuse, he just nodded to Eliza and took his drink and walked away. Kara looked pointedly at Alex but Alex took Kara’s hand and led her away. James and Winn followed.

Eliza looked at Lena.

Lena slumped, and sat back down. She tried to arrange herself to look calm and collected. She didn’t know how successful she was. She didn’t _feel_ successful.

Eliza seemed to consider for a moment, and then said, “I know it is irrational for me to judge you based on the actions of your family. And normally, I could put that aside. I have difficulty doing it in this moment.”

Lena nodded. She didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t want to presume.

Eliza continued, “I think the difficulty in this moment is I’m not just dealing with a scientific problem.”

“No,” Lena agreed.

“I’m dealing with an emotional choice my child has made.”

Lena nodded. “I understand that.”

“Do you?”

“I do.”

“I do apologize for the position this puts you in. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable you are.” Eliza said, and as far as Lena could tell, she meant it.

Lena shrugged. “It’s not pleasant, no. But honestly, I think I’ve been in worse situations.”

“Oh really?”

Lena nodded. She didn’t want to elaborate. Those situations were either moments when Lillian threatened her, or moments of peril right before Supergirl saved her life.

In the end, Lena said, “My family isn’t any more fond of me than you are.”

Eliza recoiled at that. “I don’t understand.”

Lena looked to the bar, where Alex looked at the bartender, but Kara looked at her. Kara looked honestly pained. She wrung her hands, but waited.

Lena understood now. Nothing could save her from this situation; not even Supergirl.

“I’m the bastard daughter of my father’s one infidelity.” Lena said. “From the moment I was born, I was at odds with my family.”

Eliza’s brows went up, “I had no idea.”

Lena shrugged. “My mother’s PR team is better than mine.”

“Not really.” Eliza shrugged. “Supergirl stands next to you. I’m not sure any amount of carefully manicured performances can make up for that.”

It was meant earnestly but Lena didn’t know what weight to attribute the words.

Eliza certainly seemed conflicted by something.

“I don’t know what I can do to assure you, I’m not a Luthor the way you fear I am.”

Eliza met her eyes, and then glanced away. “That is my fear.” She exhaled in a hurry. “Despite myself, I’ve constructed this image of who and what you are and it’s at odds with how you’ve presented yourself.”

“I’m sorry?” Lena said.

Eliza waved it away. “Kara’s talked about you incessantly. When I visited her, this Christmas past, you were all she talked about.”

Lena blushed despite herself.

“Which is awkward,” Eliza confessed. “Because I was aware that she had a boyfriend at the time. And yet. She never spoke of him a quarter as much as she spoke of you.”

Lena did not know what to do with that and wished she had something to hand to distract herself. A drink, at least.

If she got through this intact, she decided she was going to go back to her office, and just tip the tumbler of scotch down her throat.

Maybe if she’s very lucky, she can forget tonight.

She didn’t know how she was going to work through this with Kara, however.

Kara was a good person, and her heart was enormous but she wasn’t going to date someone her mother so openly disliked. She wouldn’t do that to Eliza.

“Lena,” Eliza leaned forward. “Who are you? As a person, I mean. What does my daughter see in you?”

Lena deflated. She knew Kara was listening and for once in her life, she wished Kara couldn’t hear her. Because she didn’t want to lie to Eliza, and Lena didn’t want to exactly list her resume.

Not just because it reeked of faux arrogance but because, well, “I don’t know.” Lena said. “I really don’t. She confounds and confuses me.”

Eliza seemed taken aback.

“Look,” Lena looked at her. “I know you disapprove, and I don’t blame you. If our role were reversed I’m not sure I could have acted even half so diplomatic as you have tonight. I don’t _know_ what Kara sees in me. I came to National City to get out from under the shadow of my family. And yet, while I’m here, my mother’s hired hitmen at fairly regular intervals to kill me. Her and my brother both. On a regular basis, aliens _and_ humans have tried to use me against your daughter.” Lena looked down at her hands and took a slow breath. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Danvers. I don’t know what Kara saw in me. The only thing I can say I ever wanted to do, with any certainty, was help people. But being a Luthor gets in the way of that. Please, excuse me.”

Lena grabbed her purse, and rose, she left without looking in Kara’s direction. Lena left as quickly as she could go without running.

She got through the back door before Kara caught her.

“Lena, no, wait, you don’t have to go!”

“I do, Kara, and you know it.”

“No! I don’t know why my mom’s like this right now, and it’s really not cool but please,” Kara caught Lena by the arm. Her grip wasn’t hard, and Lena could pull free if she wanted to.

But Kara implored her.

Lena couldn’t face her. She couldn’t arrange herself to look composed. Her eyes were wet and her nose ran and all she wanted to do now was hide somewhere Kara couldn’t see or hear her and just let herself hurt.

If she could just be honest with her pain for two minutes, she could figure out a place to go next.

A place without Supers. Where her mother couldn’t asphyxiate her life by proximity.

“Kara,” Lena whispered. “Please. Let me go.”

“I don’t want to,” Kara was overcome. “You matter to me, Lena Luthor. I don’t want to give you up.”

Lena wiped her nose and looked at Kara. Tears ran down Kara’s face. Alex stood at the end of the hallway, giving them space, but her brows were drawn together and her jaw was set.

Lena looked at the ground, and then back at Kara, and as calmly as she could, she said. “You knew when we started that this was a fairy tale. A Luthor and a Super?” Lena gave a quiet, sick, laugh.

Kara’s bottom lip trembled, just a little.

“Kara,” Lena sounded calmer now. “Let me go.”

Kara looked away from Lena. And then let Lena have her arm back.

Lena did not shake out her sleeve as she walked away. She didn’t want to brush out Kara’s last touch.

She wiped her face and got into her car.

What she needed to do next was easy. In comparison.

Facing her mother would be easy, in comparison to breaking Kara’s heart.

Lena drove away without looking back at the bar.

 

#

 

When Lena came to National City, and the moving company brought her boxes into her office, she’d broken those boxes down once they were empty, and put them in a small closet off to the side, where she kept a spare change of clothes, a well-stocked bag of toiletries, and a packed suitcase in case she needed to head out for an emergency meeting somewhere.

She told herself that putting the boxes there was just an easy solution. No need to recycle them, she’d need them again.

Towards the end of the last year, though, an idea had started to surface in her mind that she wouldn’t need them. Circumstances wouldn’t arise that meant she had to pack up and leave again.

She’d started to feel like a positive force in National City.

And then Rhea happened. And Lilian, again, and again, and again.

Lena chided herself. She should’ve known better.

She drew the boxes from her closet, took a roll of packing tape from the bottom drawer of Jess’s desk, and closed her office door behind her when she returned.

It didn’t take her long to get the boxes reassembled. She started packing her books, first. She hadn’t added many to the collection in the past year. Just a new reference book for chemical compounds and melting points of metals.

Lena packed methodically. She’d gotten used, in the past several years, to disassembling her working spaces and picking up to move out. As a result, it didn’t take that long.

Things game to an awful, grinding, halt, when she tried to pack her desk. The computer wasn’t an issue; the framed pictures, were. To the left of her monitor, situated so she almost had to look over it to look at whomever was sitting in the chair across from her desk, was a picture of Lena, Kara, and Winn, at the science fundraising gala Lena had hosted soon after the Daxamites were defeated.

The picture was of Kara and Lena hoisting glasses of champagne and smiling. And Winn made “bunny ears” behind both Lena and Kara’s heads. James had taken the picture.

Lena’s heart fragmented slowly while she looked at the picture until she reached out, and turned the frame, face down. She couldn’t look at it right now.

Was leaving a mistake? It had been a very long time since she’d _had_ people around her that she liked. And who liked her. Winn and James didn’t care that she was a Luthor. James played chess with her. And Winn was her science bro.

Was.

Lena asked herself again, was this a mistake?

She didn’t honestly know. Until very recently, Lena didn’t know how far her family’s shadow reached for the Danvers family. Alex didn’t hate her. Which was significant. Unless she’d been playing nice tonight with her hug in front of the table of friends and family.

Lena didn’t want to think that Alex could be that disingenuous but she doubted everything right now.

The only steadfast thing she’d ever known was the eventual rejection, because she was a Luthor. People didn’t keep Lena around because they _liked_ her, they kept her around because she was of use. The Luthor name opened doors, and forged business relationships and caused people to open their checkbooks and shell out for things.

Because it was a Luthor that asked. And the shadow cast by that heritage, on successful and profitable business, was almost as long as the shadow cast by the rumors of Luthors gone mad.

From where she was now, Lena could almost see it and understand it. Why not go mad? Take a flat sum of money, change her name outright, leave the company to the shareholders and the board, and vanish.

Just get the fuck out. No more L-Corp, no more hitmen from Lillian, no more murderous association with Lex.

Nothing. Just give up the entire fucking lot of life of being a Luthor and move on.

It was tempting. Maybe she could have real friends, if she wasn’t a Luthor. With nothing to pine for or covet, maybe she could even settle—

No. She put the brakes on that thought immediately. She turned away from her desk and instead set about finishing with the last bookshelf on the right side of her office.

If she couldn’t successfully have a girlfriend when dating Supergirl, the odds of having any relationship were non-existent.

Luthor or not, emotional intimacy and Lena weren’t on speaking terms.

She picked up a heavy reference book, and laid it in a box. A knock sounded on her door.

Her heart skipped, her tazer was in her bag. She casually started walking back towards her desk. “Yes?”

The door swung inward, and Eliza Danvers stepped into Lena’s office.

Lena didn’t slump at the sight of her, but just barely. She didn’t advance any further towards her bag, either.

“Did I leave you with an open tab?” Lena asked. It wasn’t a great question but it sounded better than ‘what the fuck do you want now?’

“No,” Eliza shook her head. “No, uh, Hank settled the bill, actually.”

“I apologize for disrupting your evening.” Lena said. She returned to her bookshelf and continued to pack books into boxes.

“Off to greener pastures?” Eliza asked. She tried to sound light.

“I don’t know yet.” Lena said, and tried to sound calm. “An unexpected side-effect of our meeting tonight was a reminder that it’s best not to linger too long in any one place. Stagnation kills, after all.”

“If you’re a zebra, perhaps,” Eliza said. “Stagnation in ponds leads to the growth of ecosystems.”

That wasn’t quite right but Lena suspected Eliza knew that. She was trying to make a point.

Eliza took another step into the office, and looked at the chessboard on the coffee table in front of her white couch. Lena considered packing it, and decided against it.

She decided against taking anything that was a Luthor heirloom, actually.

She needed to go through everything she’d packed already. If she liked it, she’d replace it, but otherwise, she was going to carry nothing that bore the history of belonging to a Luthor before Lena.

“I don’t know how to say this,” Eliza said. “Things got tense after you left. Uncomfortable.”

“I’m sorry for that.” Lena meant it. She didn’t want to hurt Kara at all but collateral damage from that was even worse.

“I don’t think it’s you that needs to apologize, actually. Except perhaps to Kara.”

Lena looked away. She didn’t know what else to say to Kara. And besides, what could she say? I love you with every fiber of my being but I don’t exist in a world where that’s okay?

Eliza sighed. “I owe you an apology.”

Lena stopped moving and waited. She didn’t know what to say. The first response she had was cold, and she didn’t want to be mean right now.

Eliza continued, “When you left, Kara confronted me on our conversation.”

Lena faced her.

Eliza tapped her fingers on her thigh. “I’m still quantifying her response. There was a great deal that was said, but the overwhelming impression I had was the _way_ with which she defended you.”

Lena kept her silence.

“The energy with which she defended you is something I can only recall in reference to when Kara is defending Alex.”

That hung in the air like a bomb on a pressure switch, waiting to detonate.

What’s more, Lena didn’t believe her.

Not that Kara wouldn’t defend her. A small voice in the back of Lena’s mind did believe that, and felt guilt for acknowledging it. But not that she defended Lena with the same ferocity that she’d defend Alex.

Kara moved worlds for Alex. Kara considered breaking her inviolable no-killing rule to protect Alex.

Alex was the one person that, if threatened, guaranteed that Kara showed no mercy to whomever she fought.

There was no way on _earth_ , or any other world, that Kara would defend Lena with the same vehemence.

“You don’t believe me.” Eliza said.

Lena realized she let too much show on her face and she felt ashamed. She took a slow breath to compose herself. “It strains credulity that Kara defended me to the same degree she’d defend Alex.”

“Miss Luthor,” Eliza’s gaze focused on Lena with incredible intensity and Lena flinched under the weight of her glare. “Consider something; I’d made my mind up. No matter how nice Kara wrote about you, no matter what even Alex told me about you, I wasn’t going to feel okay with Kara being your girlfriend. I did not make it clear in no uncertain terms but you understood precisely what I felt.”

Lena gestured to her boxes. “Yes. I did.”

“So can you imagine the weight of conviction Kara must feel about your goodness if it not only motivated me to come here, but to apologize?”

Lena couldn’t respond. She felt paralyzed.

“I can believe you’d hoodwinked Kara. I can believe you’d warped Alex’s thoughts, too. Alex is incredibly emotional and her reactions are weighed first on how they feel, and then on the logic of the action. I could believe that you’d warped their perspectives. But not Maggie too, nor James, no Winn, nor Hank. Certainly not Hank.”

Lena lifted her brows. “Why not Hank?”

Eliza was confused, and then considered before she said. “Not my secret.”

That didn’t compute for a moment. Lena turned it over in her mind. Why would Hank exist in a place for Eliza that she’d take his word to be so much more rock-solid than Kara’s? Or Alex’s?

What would she know him as that he’d seem so immovable if he decided something to be true?

Unless she knew him for a long time. Longer than she knew about Kara’s being an alien?

Potentially as long.

But then why would that be a secret to keep? If he worked with her sequencing Martian DNA, and studying those cells—

Wait—

“The white Martian genome was not the first you’d sequenced, was it.”

Eliza considered, “No.” she finally said.

“Hank is a Martian?” Lena blurted.

Eliza shrugged. “Not my secret.”

“Because your first work was studying Alien DNA and seeing if the secret to powers was somehow rooted in the interaction between an alien genome in a different solar system under the influence of a different frequency of ultraviolet and solar radiation. So that means either Hank was a scientist with you, which doesn’t seem likely because he doesn’t seem like s scientist, or he _is_ the Martian you studied.”

Eliza’s eyes went wide briefly, and then she shrugged. “Okay. Um. I still can’t tell you but your logic has considerable merit.”

For a moment, Lena felt proud. And then the moment passed, and she was returned to the world where Eliza Danvers hated her, and refused to let her date her daughter.

“Lena,” Eliza said. “I was wrong. And I put you in an impossible situation.”

Lena did not respond.

“I fear for my daughters, Lena. I know Kara’s bulletproof. And you’d think that’d make it easier for me to sleep at night, but it doesn’t. It makes it harder.”

“Because you live in fear of that _one_ thing that _can_ hurt her.”

Eliza’s gaze softened. “That’s right.”

Lena had a brief idea. She went to her desk, and pulled out a binder from drawer on the bottom. The drawer was sealed by a biometric reader that scanned her hand, sensed her pulse, and pricked her finger to draw a DNA sample.

She wiped her hand off on her slacks, and pulled the binder from the drawer. This she handed to Eliza.

“What is this?”

“Literally,” Lena took a slow breath and looked away while Eliza took the binder. “All the work I’ve done trying to synthesize an antidote for kryptonite.”

She didn’t look at Eliza while she took the binder.

Eliza sat down in the chair across from Lena’s desk, and Lena paced slowly at the back end of her office.

“I have one more question,” Eliza said.

Lena shrugged. “Okay.”

“You’re adults. Why not just elope? As it were.”

Lena considered her words carefully. “I wouldn’t ask that of Kara. Because she would say yes. And even if she didn’t hate me right away, she would, eventually, come to despise me. Because family means more to Kara than anything else. And the only home she has left is the one _you_ built for her here, on earth. And even in my most selfish moment, I wouldn’t ask Kara to give that up. I can’t ask her that. I won’t. That’s why I left tonight, Mrs. Danvers. Because the choice is between me or her family. And I won’t ask her to choose. I won’t put that burden on her.”

Lena took back her binder, without force, and put it into a box.

Finding the cure still mattered. If she were a little smarter, she might even find an active resistance. Something that would make Kara impervious to the mineral, not just help her recover if it was used against her.

“Lena,” Eliza stood. Lena turned to face her. “I _am_ sorry for how I treated you tonight. Even as a mother trying to protect my child, I was out of line.” She offered a little smile. “I should’ve known better.”

“In what regard?”

Eliza’s smile grew to something meaningful, “Kara’s always been drawn to _good_ people. She’s gravity, in that way. She pulls honorable people into her orbit. I should’ve trusted that.”

Lena didn’t know what to say. She was overwhelmed, partially because it was acknowledgement that she wasn’t evil, like her family, partly because this was a significant mother who told Lena she was good.

Eliza started to walk away. Near the door, she turned, “Okay, actual last question. Why are you interested in working on the kryptonite cure?”

“Scientifically? Or personally.”

“Both.”

“Scientifically? Kryptonite doesn’t behave like any other mineral I’ve encountered and its effects on Kryptonian physiology are complex and terrifying. And I owe Supergirl a debt, to use my family’s research to help her, and her cousin, in this way.”

“I imagine your family has quite a stockpile of data about kryptonite.”

“You’d be right,” Lena said. “And despite that, I’ve had to do my own research to try and find a way to neutralize it. Their research was in weaponization. You can’t weaponize a vaccine, so their research turned out to be useless to me.”

“I agree. And personally?”

Lena crossed her arms over her chest, and looked away from her. She took a breath to fortify herself, “Because I have the same nightmare you do.”

Eliza considered for a long moment, and then smiled, warmly. It didn’t set Lena to ease.

“I do agree with your assessment. I think family is more important to Kara.”

Lena tried not to be visibly heartbroken. She doubted she hid it well.

“I also think you’d be a valuable addition, to our family.”

Lena’s brain short-circuited.

“What?” She asked.

“I need to call Kara and tell her I approve. But I wanted to tell you, first.”

Lena could not readily recall a night when words had failed her so often. Eliza turned to leave, and added, “At some point, if a relationship were to grow between us, I would like an opportunity to lend a hand with your research regarding a neutralizing agent for Kryptonite.”

“Certainly,” Lena burst.

Eliza nodded, and walked away.

Lena’s office was deafening in the silence that followed.

Kara fell out of the sky onto Lena’s balcony, concrete cracked at the intensity of her landing. Lena wheeled.

Kara was there, in uniform, hair askew, eyes wide. She looked at Lena, “She said that?”

“Kara?” Lena didn’t usually feel this dumb but she was overwhelmed.

“My mom,” Kara said. “She approved. She really said that?”

“You’re the one with super hearing,” Lena said. “I’m still not sure I heard her right.”

“Lena, please,” Kara took her hands. “I _do_ love you. I don’t want to have to choose. You see that now? I don’t have to.”

“Until thirty seconds ago, I didn’t think it was an option.” Lena said.

Kara couldn’t stand still. She was sad and happy and exhilarated and had so much energy that she practically vibrated with it. She ran her hands up and down Lena’s arms, and through her hair gently, cupped her face.

“Are we okay?” Kara asked.

Lena didn’t know how to respond. Her body _ached_ to be close to Kara, to hold her tight and kiss her and never let her go.

But she was scared, scared almost to paralysis.

“Lena, what’s wrong?” Kara pleaded. Her face was constricted with worry.

“I’m sorry,” Lena croaked. “For leaving. Earlier.”

“No, it’s my mom’s fault. She was mean.”

“No, Kara,” Lena spluttered and tears started anew in her eyes and she tried to blink them away and only succeeded in making them fall. Kara’s hands were there, she brushed Lena’s tears away, but Lena couldn’t contain herself, she had no control left to exhibit and she cried, openly. “Kara, I could not have taken it. If the question had been asked, then and there, for you to choose between us, I could not have survived your rejection.”

Kara didn’t respond immediately, but her own eyes were damp.

“I know you wouldn’t have chosen me.” Lena said. “I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t have chosen me.”

“No, Lena—“

“Kara, please, I need to say this.” Lena cried. She choked on the emotion she felt, she locked her hands around Kara’s which still cupped Lena’s face.

Kara nodded. There were too many tracks on Kara’s face, left by fallen tears, and that hurt Lena more than what she said next, “I’m in a place where I don’t want to be second to anyone anymore. I don’t want anyone to be second in my life. I would put them first, beyond my company, beyond getting away from my mother’s shadow, beyond anything. I don’t know that I can be someone’s second, anymore.”

“Is that your fear? That you’re my second obligation?”

Lena carefully, gently, laid her hand on the sigil of the House of El on Kara’s chest.

“You can’t shrug this off, Kara.”

“I wouldn’t try to,” Kara’s voice was strong and determined. She brushed Lena’s tears away. “No more than you’d try and shrug off your responsibility to helping people.”

Lena nodded, slowly.

“Does this mean you’d never answer the phone if you got called in late at night? To put the fires out at L-Corp?” Kara asked. It wasn’t asked in desperation, Lena got the impression Kara was making a point.

“I would answer,” Lena said. “But I would always come home to you.”

“That’s my point. We both get called, we both have to serve. We’re both trying to save the world. That’s why I fell in love with you. Your projects aren’t just PR. I’ve seen you, late at night when I come home from a patrol and you’re still hunched over your desk trying to work out the problem. You’re no less committed to this life than I am.” Kara smiled, a little cocky and a little proud. “My uniform is cooler than yours, though.”

“It looks better on me.” Lena said without thinking.

Kara blushed, _furiously_ , “That’s not _fair._ ”

“You’re right, I’m sorry, I ruined the moment.”

“The point is; you’re not second to me. There’s so few people who know me as Kara Zor-El.” Kara took a slow step forward, close enough that if Lena chose to, she could kiss Kara.

Kara’s voice was nothing but a breath when she whispered, “If you asked me to be a Luthor, I’d say yes.”

Lena’s brain broke in half and for one terrible, awful moment, Lena wondered if being so close to a Kryptonian had led her to hallucinating.

“Well,” Lena said, when she found some form of coherence with which to speak again. “You remember when Rhea almost forced me to marry her son?”

“Way to kill the mood.” Kara glared at her without heat.

“Bear with me.”

“Yes. I remember.” Kara rolled my eyes.

“Well. I thought a _lot_ about that. It occurred to me that it wasn’t the idea of getting married that I disliked.” She focused and tried to say the words as calmly as possible. “It was just that I was marrying the wrong El.”

Lena almost heard the snap in Kara’s mind.

“What?” Kara blurted.

“If you’d ask me, I’d be a Danvers. And I’d wear it with pride.” Her voice got a little quieter and she felt demure despite herself, like she was giving voice to a passion she should keep hidden, “But I’d rather be an El.”

For a long moment, Kara stood there, and stared at Lena, and then the biggest smile Lena had ever seen on Kara’s face gradually grew and Kara seized Lena and hoisted her into her arms and spun her around in a circle. Lena laughed, despite herself, and when Kara set her down again, she kissed Kara furiously. She kissed away her tear tracks, she ran her hands through Kara’s hair, she got lost in the taste and sensation of Kara.

Kara pushed her away.

Lena’s heart suspended for a moment, confused and she stared at Kara, who’d grown incredibly serious. “Lena, hear me loud and clear, okay?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Just listen,” Kara actually wagged a finger at Lena. “You are _not_ my second choice. I think that’s what you meant when you said ‘I don’t want to be anyone’s second.’”

Lena didn’t want to articulate that thought, but she nodded, slowly. The work was the work, and she was devoted to it, just like Kara was. They’d found a balance, together. Sometimes Lena had to cancel their lunch dates, sometimes Kara did, but they always found a way back to each other.

“Even if my mom would’ve not given her blessing, I would have chosen you. And Alex would have backed me up. But even if she hadn’t; I would have chosen you.”

“No, Kara,” Lena said. “You can’t give up on your family for me.”

“I chose what made me happy. But more than that, I chose what let me heal. I never got a chance to process the loss of my world, Lena. I got to earth and I had to put on a brave face and confront the fact that my one mission, looking after my cousin, was a failure. He was a man grown by the time I got here. And as soon as my pod was opened and he dumped me with the Danvers, all I could do was be determined and focused and assimilate to Earth as fast as I could. Keep the secret. Be a normal earth kid. I never got to grieve.”

Lena was overwhelmed with the urge to hug her.

“Through everything we’ve been through, all the nights we’ve spent on your couch, all the times you’ve held me while I’ve cried, _you_ let me grieve. You helped me heal.” Kara deflated. “I would’ve chosen you. It would’ve hurt. But I would’ve chosen you. In this or any lifetime.”

Lena eyes welled up. And she pulled Kara into her arms.

“I’m glad you don’t have to choose.” Lena whispered.

“So am I.” Kara said.

They held each other. And were whole.  

**Author's Note:**

> HA YOU THOUGHT I WOULD LEAVE LENA SUFFERING FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> come yell at me on Tumblr okay I write faster when people tell me what my stories do to them, emotionally.  
> @thejollywriter
> 
> Eliza and Lena do eventually collaborate.


End file.
